-  Fiction - A Tangential Enunciation









In Memory
Sean Pettibone



A Tangential Enunciation

Reluctantly facing the intractable possibilities underlying her determined, yet resolutely unarticulated approach, I realized Gemine's incomprehensible manifestations and unexplainable prescience had revealed unexpectedly intricate complications. I constructed a sequence of elaborate illustrations, and followed the footprints she'd previously set in my path in seemingly precise manner. My inexperienced visage couldn't adequately anticipate what method she'd implemented, but found myself intrigued by her clandestine incursions. The original page appeared to become increasingly premeditated when I examined it further. It seemed she knew precisely what she was doing. Gemine managed to elicit precisely the response anticipated on my part but she seemed provisionally satisfied that I'd diverged enough from the expected parameters to prove I wasn't making strictly mechanical reproductions and inferior copies of her exuberant illustrations. Beyond the external forces at issue, the enduring mysteries contained beneath her distinctive perspective and unwavering viewpoint created an unanticipated effect.

The deceptively complicated figures' improbable juxtapositions only increased my determination to unfurl their origin and meaning. Connecting to one another in unlikely combinations and disconcerting forms resulted in surprising ways. Examining those convergent fields of vision that presented consistent, indescribable and enervating indication. I studied Gemine's intricate compositions carefully and began adjusting position to compensate for the lack of perspective. Taking several tentative steps reinforced a steady angle, my nervous gaze stabilized when I surveyed the drawing from a comprehensive perspective. It seemed to take on renewed importance, unarticulated yet loudly enunciated. The assembled figures on the page seemed to evoke a larger form when viewed in a comprehensive manner from that pronounced remove. Even tangentially reciting their meaning proved enduringly elusive. She knew precisely what her diminutive imprints represented. Looking on them from a distance, their shallow surface provided a constrained perspective that revealed little. Attempting to decipher her page proved implacable. Gemine'd compositions maintained a firm stoicism my meekly yet insistent eyes couldn't breach taking only a tentative, substantively insufficient incursion, only briefly surveying the drawings' outer margins. Despite consistent appearances that emerged sporadically, I was unable to determine much beyond her visible techniques and approximate shape of her compositions. Accurately inferring more significant meanings within her elaborately-designed forms remained stubbornly elusive.

Despite holding a convergent appearance and sensible arrangement visible on the page, making sustained efforts couldn't extract substantive implications from her reticent compositions. They determinedly avoided converging on an explanation underlying their inconsistent design strenuously eluded my narrow range of capabilities I couldn't accurately internalize her methodology, but formulated a reflective position that allowed me to rationalize her strange premonitions without feeling vulnerable. Gemine had somehow managed to anticipate my spontaneous creation using her auxiliary perception while simultaneously unflinchingly observing my mannerisms with profound insight, Waiting for Gemine to further elaborate on her esoteric methods and detached disposition wouldn't satiate my curiosity. Further inquiry beyond what she'd already articulated would cause undue confusion when an unanticipated dichotomy emerged. I thought about different approaches to reconcile the developing contradiction. Deciding against taking a pronounced path, I determined that a less intrusive tactic would allow her conclusion to occur without forcing the issue. I could have been more forthright, but I didn't want to risk alienating her. We seemed to have tenuously arrived at an unarticulated mutual understanding. I wasn't about to disrupt the fermenting trust we'd managed to achieve. Following such a heedless approach would cause uncertainty where none was needed and I made a concerted effort to avoid falling into the arms of fear and distrust.

I contemplated the implications and decided on a relatively defensive gesture but not excessively redolent. This tangentially balanced approach seemed the most desirable, allowing me to concentrate my attention on the emergent form, while delaying any demand or inquiry for a singular explanation on her part. Retracing my hands carefully over the easel at a measured pace, I managed to formulate an elaborate, defensive counter-motion, attempting to mediate the underlying anxiety and curiosity beneath the inexplicable recalibration of my tentative reproduction of Gemine's figure. It wasn't a straightforward endeavor, but I managed to endeavor a minor, yet faithful, instillation of mechanical reconstruction without exerting excessively. I outlined several consecutive reinforcing, loosely connected forms, with interspersed flourishes and intricate maneuvers across the page, skipping over its face lightly while attempting to disprove her fortuitous proximity. This technique wasn't as polished as I'd hoped and many of my inclinations turned out lesser than I'd hoped. I placed significant thought and effort into those designs, but their appearance didn't match those residing within my imagination. It wasn't entirely successful, but my reinvigoration of my inspiration provided the resilience to buttress my additional work, though that would only become apparent in hindsight much later.

The awkward construction and uncertain design of her composition worked in unexpectedly countervailing fashion. The incomprehensible symbols worked against my underlying intentions, suppressing the intangible aspects beneath the forms, their erratic structure forming a temporary inner sanctuary that became increasingly formidable. This instability within the drawings was structurally deferential, but this aloofness created another unexpected effect. Lacking visible instruction from the interspersed figures forced my attention elsewhere. This erratic interval allowed enough room for me to contemplate the completed work and the task ahead without intervening intrusion on her part. I did this fully aware that she maintained a careful watch over my emerging composition, with seemingly unyielding focus and remediated knowledge of its motivations and meanings. I waited patiently for further instruction, but Gemine cautiously harnessed her guidance, not allowing herself to intervene with my efforts, no matter how fraught or discouraging the process might become.

After encountering a convergence of unsteady intervals marked with uncertainty, I briefly paused working on the figure for a short time to confront the unrelenting doubt. This allowed its voice throughout my unfamiliar processes and erratic endeavors, and stepped backwards in order to adjust perspective in a significant measure. I looked sideways and Gemine remained in position. She kept a close watch over me and didn't appear or be distracted by anything else within the room. Her attentive focus encouraged me to keep plowing ahead, despite the impediments I encountered during my work. She reserved her thoughts about my work for the most part. Misalignment between thought and realization combined with prevalent insecurity fomented significant impediments I couldn't seem to reconcile. I knew that I needed to make pronounced effort if I wanted to discover additional insights or eventually uncover greater revelations. Following that insistent yet somewhat redolent approach required increased dexterity and durable consistency on my part that I wasn't sure I was capable of delivering. I managed to convert my insecurity into action and prevailed with an unexpected fervor. My seemingly minor change in position had resulted in promising attempts that motivated me to keep moving forward.
Maintaining a consistent pace of studied, reliable re-composition of Gemine's designs without becoming distracted or paralyzed by Gemine's insistent stare was difficult but I managed to contain her insistent glare by focusing my attention directly on the open sections near the page's narrow margins.

Working inward, then expanding the diameter of her shapes was a steady process. Intuitive forces converged and I was able to keep myself from experimentations and divergence while focusing on that specific area, designating the most important details within small, emergent shapes took on renewed importance. I studied the form carefully and determined additional parallels between their consistent formation and elemental design. Sequentially, my reflected designs amoreliated themselves in edifying construction, unperceptively forming into coherent volumes. Substantially similar, I noticed small errors and misalignments in my diminutive invocations, and worked fervently to correct these. It might have appeared that these divergences weren't material, but even minor differences in appearance could profoundly alter their implications. Surveying the page meant I had to instill an undetermined stability into the page, carefully maneuvering the pencil without venturing too far from her source and inspiration. This approach might have seemed redundant, but its repeated occurrence revealed unexpected insights I hadn't anticipated.

The illustrated assemblage of encapsulated shapes appeared to grow increasingly collaborative, growing increasingly complicated and indeterminate with each completed form. This wasn't something I expected the symbols to reveal, but their systematic convergence was oddly inspiring, propelling me to further examine and reassemble them with renewed energy. Their interconnected workings lent them a propulsive collective energy that only became apparent when I interred their designs and restructured them carefully. Almost imperceptibly, they began working in tandem towards a formative meaning and objective determination, creating an unspoken, yet visible convergence. The symmetrical shapes and repeated forms were unavoidable and the common forms seemed to suggest an important aspect occurred within their competing yet complimentary shapes. Impressed by their indications and formations, I examined them carefully, seeking additional repetitions that might provoke unheralded insights. Attempting to embolden their connection, I putatively decided to illustrate their invisible connections in vivid form. I drew a convergence of fastidiously intricate lines across the surface in rapid succession. I used a light touch, marking the page softly as to not distract from the central forms. I didn't want the lines to interfere with the shapes and made them touch the edges of the forms lightly. This tenuous approach might have seemed overly cautious, but it had the advantage of being easy to erase and revise if my assumptions proved incorrect.

Following that unspoken, thorough and, subtle approach seemed effective from a tangible perspective, providing stability and consistency while not entirely blocking creativity. I looked in her direction, and her silent response didn't indicate disapproval of my somewhat deliberative, intricately layered, and somewhat defensive methodology. I continued to trace paths between the varied form and shapes until the majority of the page's figures seemed to converge. This didn't appear in completed form at first. I went over the resulting paths with my fingers and changed a couple of them that appeared to lead nowhere or arrived at cross-purposes where they intersecting in a confusing, counter-intuitive manner. After making these adjustments, I was generally pleased with the results. I awaited confirmation of my work from Gemine but she stood quietly, examining the connections I'd made between the figures without articulating her views, initially. After several minutes, she seemed to nod quickly with an accentuated assent, giving my elaborations and indications a small yet significant motion of approval.

Her guarded acquiescence gave me a revitalized energy that was surprisingly difficult to contain. I decided to reinforce the pathways between the main forms and the solidified as I added layers and they solidified on the page. I felt my fingers grow increasingly confident and they began flowing with a noticeable energy. I felt my measured control and discipline slipping and determined not to let the emotions of the moment overtake my work's determined foundations. Before things got away from me and my fingers succumbed beneath the unexpected convergence of energy, I managed to direct my energies away from needless flourishes. This required a significant effort to counter the pencil's increasing strength drew increasing prevalence. It felt like it was guiding my hand as I drew elongated forms, taking control subconsciously, but effectively remaining in the lead. The diminutive, yet resolutely-sharpened tool would sporadically concede leadership, only allowing me occasional command. This wave of unexpected resistance from the previously passive pencil created an undetermined yet truculent battle that became increasingly protracted and unproductive.

Insistently struggling against the pencil's surreptiously redolent, seemingly intransient force for an creatively existential period, I managed to regain control. The perception changed until I felt its sliding back beneath my fingers, no longer guiding itself independently. Instead after pronounced and determined pushing on my part, the pencil took on an undulating sheen, gliding carefully under my command without internal rupture. This made further drawing much easier and I began to trust its methods, at least it would remain focused on task without further disruption. This might have seemed strange given the struggle with an inconsequential object. I wondered if I was feeling things that weren't actually happening. I looked at Gemine and was relieved that she appeared to understand the complexity and intensity of my efforts. She realized that mastering and containing the controls was the most important task. Even a simple pencil needed to stay within boundaries. Drawing too far outside the lines would only lead to needless trouble.

She waited patiently while I gradually subdued its recalcitrant demeanor and seemed pleased when it finally came under my tenuous control. After a residual burst of intransience, the over-active pencil eventually withdrew into a subdued, near-dormant state. It appeared to grow weary from our putative, inarticulate battle. It appeared truculent and disengaged, unwilling to strenuously fight against my determined, unwavering fingers any longer. It set itself into a hibernative state without further excessive prompting. This represented a form of vindication and might have represented a triumph that allowed me to work unimpeded without distraction. However, the pencil's restraint was immediately followed by a surfeit of uncertainty and disengagement that drained motivation quickly. It seemed that that its intangible inspiration had drained away. This occurred almost simultaneously with the normative approach unexpectedly resolving itself, negatively. I felt my fingers slow before they arrived at a complete stop; procrastination quickly followed by an immobilizing division and stratification. I couldn't decide between multiple promising approaches and their conflicting enticements, eventually concluding not to move forward and risk taking an insufficient route.

My unsteady hands straightened as they uneventfully broached the pencil's hold and my eyes found replenished motivation. This was promising for several moments until I encountered an unrelenting clasp of redolent intractability that settled in unexpectedly. This tapered off when my transitent exultation was met with an unsettling realization that promoted inadequacy without reserve. A thick curtain of ennui unfolded and quickly settled over the page. I wasn't convinced that I was moving in the correct manner. It remained unclear how I should proceed past the sudden blockage. My hands and fingers unexpectedly stymied, held in place by the intimidating task. Their individual digits trapped within the page's shrinking margins. I steadied my hand, almost immediately restoring a creative persistence. It took several minutes, but they eventually responded to my insistent movements across the page. They'd become infused with an indescribable energy that reinforced the figures' outlines and filled-in interior portions effortlessly. The pencil's range expanded and flowed with increasing velocity, marking the paper in fluent strokes and inspired elucidation. Relived by this quick recover and resolution, I didn't hesitate to take advantage of my resurgence. I firmly embraced the pencil and made an unrepentant incursion into the page. I began scribbling down a few lines in the lower corner of the page. I kept their short length but repeated them somewhat randomly hoping that something might emerge. I repeated a few familiar patterns with prominent similarities but nothing I drew seemed to make sense. I drew connective paths between the figures in an attempt to align them with one another, but the strands weren't viable. It was immediately obvious to my eyes that these forms weren't authentic. They seemed pasted-on, amounting to superficial paths added after the main composition. Their proportions were off-scale; outsized, unbalanced and substandard. I looked at the messy configuration and determined, with some reluctance, that my efforts had resulted in a confusing, incoherent scrawl on the paper. Fortunately, its size was small and it resided on the page's margins and I blotted the mistaken form out with little regret. However, I remained uncertain as to how I might constructively proceed further into her composition while maintaining a measure of relative serenity.

This led me to glance in her direction for support, but Gemine's invariably with-held her conclusions, advice and, encouragement. She remained detached from my work despite my entreaties insisting on even slight vindication of its attributes. She didn't rescue me from the detriments, instead allowing me to find the solution inhabiting my own fingers. Her approach seemed unconventional, but the allowing me to encounter impediments without excessive assistance gave me the opportunity to overcome their blockades. This appeared somewhat detached and unconcerned, but I took a contrary meaning in her physical proximity and simultaneous absence of interference. Her unspoken signal indicated that she trusted my hands, despite their inexperience and incoherence. Knowing that she didn't hold undue expectations of my work was freeing to an extent. I felt partially vindicated despite my inexperience and continued contemplating the enigmatic force behind my constructed symbol for an extended length. I didn't explain what precisely I was trying to communicate with the symbol. From a subconscious level, I belatedly assumed she probably knew what this meant, but I couldn't be precisely sure of her motivations. Looking in her direction, I noticed an unexplainable fissure cross her expression. At first, I couldn't discern what Gemine's disposition signified, but it became apparent quickly that she'd wasn't caught up in the intricacies of my immediate work. Instead, it appeared that her attention derived from another point not yet visible on the page. This realization caught me off-guard, and I didn't know how to respond, it wasn't precisely clear what she was anticipating from my undefined composition. I decided to continue marking the page, but moved with increased awareness of her expectations. This slowed my momentum to a degree, but I decided to move ahead, avoiding her imposing burden, maintaining the consistent pace and visual qualities I'd been able to resolve.

Arriving at a tenuous conclusion which could have been wrong. My tenuous explanation was just as likely explained as a byproduct of inherent defensiveness or fragmented nerves. Imagining her clandestine motives was overpowering and I didn't want to make an error and draw a false assumption. Watching her closely. I realized that her unarticulated actions could have been easily interpreted wrongly. I didn't want to fall into a rigid theory, misconstruing her concentration with clairvoyance. To avoid causing unnecessary discordance, I resisted the urge to ask her if she'd seen that particular symbol ahead of time. I was afraid her answer might deter my progress or stifle my inspiration. Instead of making a big deal about what its distinctive shape symbolized, I decided the pencil would speak on my behalf. This wasn't the most obvious approach but as I worked on the piece, I could sense a convective energy rapidly infusing the easel's narrow surface that couldn't be easily articulated. The figures I drew began to imperceptivity converge within the illustration. Their uneven yet sharply defined forms gradually formed an uneasy alliance between themselves.
The symbols appeared to take divergent paths from my intentions in many regards. Despite my efforts to fastidiously reconstruct her compositions, there were slight diversions that appeared to alter their indications to a noticeable degree. Attending to them carefully made them resemble their inspirations to fortuitous degree, but my uncoordinated lines and disconnected entanglements lacked the intuitive smoothness of her initial embodiments. My figures looked like distant shadows in the distance, compared to the forthright illustrations she provided. A sense of dejection overcame my insufficient reflections, and I was concerned that I would never be able to approach her skill or competence. The settled spaces left between the figures drew ever larger, opening intimidating gaps I'd be unable to fill with even a fraction of her resplendence. Looking through the paper's confines for a reassuring solution to the prowling undercurrent of incessant demands, the implacable canvas remained resolutely silent. The easel's unresponsive disposition and implacable recalcitrance wasn't surprising. I wasn't expecting coherent instruction from its stoic face.

A transitory lack of purpose elicited dislocated, frantic gestures where I waved my hands heedlessly. That incalculable demonstration signified a growing sense of discordance emerging. Simultaneously, my erratic, unfocused hand-motions realized a convergent perspective that brought forth a countervailing perspective which offered surprising insights I hadn't anticipated. The unspoken, determinedly quiet interval provided an unexpected opportunity to speak her directly. I quickly realized the silence could be used productively. I was relieved that I'd finally be able to fulsomely explain my inexorable motivations with appropriate elaboration of its resplendent style and intrinsic details. Making a determined explanation, I outlined the work's details and proudly highlighted its fidelity to her original compositions, while admitting my composition's obvious shortcomings. I turned in her direction and thought about how I'd explain my creation's odd protrusions and inconsistent dimensions. Realizing the she held her assumptions deep within. I thought better of disrupting her uninterrupted contemplation or interfering with Gemine's imperious methods of discernment.

After enduring several minutes of indecision, I resigned myself to keeping my own thoughts and instincts barricaded. I didn't want to leave myself vulnerable to further intrusions from Gemine. I decided to take additional measures to protect myself. In order to block her from a direct view, I maneuvered directly in front of the easel, allowing myself a narrow band of privacy. I saw my shadow fall over the page, which had an unexpected effect. The forms and symbols I drew appeared to have diminished in size and importance, leaving a significant void between them that I was motivated to conquer. The emptiness allowed me plenty of room to fill, though my options were somewhat limited. I was determined to stay firmly within the parameters her figures presented, working against the propensity to make divergences or add incremental flourishes. I recklessly decided to embark on a slightly different approach. I decided it would be easier and more effective to converse a broader understanding, and not squander my efforts on recreating the figures with exacting precision. This was an objective I couldn't be confident of maintaining. Attempting another batch of unerring replication was becoming demoralizing, the task felt like a burden that grew increasingly troublesome. I needed a break from the monotony and began simplifying and minimizing their shape, without undertaking the seemingly insignificant work of embellishing her elaborations and intricate mannerisms. I completed several figures implementing this approach and while the process was easier and faster than it had gone previously, the resulting figures looked rushed and incomplete.

I looked in her direction and saw her shoulders withdrawn, her gaze uneasy. I knew she was disappointed with my truncated figures. They lacked the basic understanding and infusion that was required. Looking over them, I shared her discouragement, but resolved to follow my original approach, despite its complexity. I didn't want Gemine to think I'd fallen into a trap of needless dissipation, ignoring the resplendence of her figures, and relying on mechanical, uninspired derivatives. Shaking off what seemed like a strange mirage, I scratched off the recent figures quickly and began anew. I reinstituted my convictions and returned my attention towards the elaborate arrays she'd produced effortlessly. I knew they presented a greater challenge but I hoped the additional effort would prove worthwhile, eventually.

Returning focus to the easel, I appreciated her eminent illustrations without attempting to verbalize their disengaged inner impassions. At that point, I decided not to encroach on the figure's shapes intricacies, allowing them to flow from the pencil in a natural state. This proved to be a far more effective and satisfying approach. It took longer, but allowed me to focus on bridging their style and design, recognizing their intrinsic qualities. I decided to leave any further indications behind my uncoordinated shapes entirely to her interpretation. Underlining their incongruous design and unrealized forms, their significance unresolved for an intervening period. Their actual initialization and residing determination would remain unknown. I held off imbuing their rationalization for another specific reason. I wasn't entirely sure of its actual purpose myself. Performing and elaboration am unnecessary elaboration would only cause further dislocation and confusion. It was preferable to leave its mysteries alone instead of attempting to come at an incomplete or inaccurate explanation.

Realizing that I couldn't dwell on the preceding figures for an extended period. I continued working on the present, looming form at a steady remove, slowly internalizing its form and design in my mind. I'd occasionally look in Gemine's direction to see if she was still following along the uneven path. My attempt at billowing through the shapes had fallen short and I worried that she'd frowned on my subsequent attempts to resume the work. I was relieved that she'd effortlessly resumed an interested placement, and followed a determined path in gauging my work. It appeared that Gemine's eyes hadn't grown weary despite my mistakes; she'd apparently considered my reductive actions a distraction. As I drew further into the page with careful movement over the easel's unvarnished surface, something I hadn't anticipated occurred. I gradually completed then finished the formations denoting the outer margins and outlines of surfaces that lightly traced across the outlines of my vaguely artistic process. However, moving beyond that point proved more difficult than I anticipated. I'd made significant advancement from the early tentative outlines but came to a stubborn injunction that stifled further incursions. I looked into the surface and carefully examined the paper, with little effect. There didn't appear to be a tangible path forward, despite my desire to locate a point where I could forge ahead unassisted.

It appeared that I'd reach a severe immovable location. Attempting to compartmentalize the situation only made things worse, adding frustrating layers of complexity that obscured my main objective. I remained intrinsically unsure how to proceed beyond that point; at that point, she'd grown visibly tired of my incessant recurrence. I'd retraced and elaborated the immovable figure several times at that point, and my repeated efforts were rapidly becoming pointless, the tedious repetitions adding little insight. My mind began to shift rapidly formulating different possibilities how to proceed without disrupting the delicate balance we'd deliberately resolved to implement, though surreptitiously. We managed to maintain this clandestine endeavor subconsciously, without a solitary word crossing between us. Our unarticulated connection was significantly stronger than our share,  mute space indicated.

Eventually arriving at a partial resolution after brief consideration, I reached a somewhat incongruous determination. My surreptitious plan quickly converged at a specific underpinning. Discovering a reasonable conclusion, instinctively affirming that most effective course of action that could reinforce my inspiration. I asserted a newfound confidence and forged ahead with renewed focus elsewhere. After pronounced effort and internalization, it appeared that I'd found an reasonable solution to the intractable problem. I'd managed an extensive deference but the preliminary results remained unsatisfying. Despite my incalculable efforts, I was still following a predetermined path, even subconsciously. This held my creativity in rigid confines and I knew these barriers needed to dissolve before I could traverse deeper into the shapes. She understood my conundrum and realized what was occurring in advance. Gemine acknowledged the situation I was in, subtly nodding along. Realizing that despite my efforts to find a distinct methodology of my own design, I was marginally successful, functionally repeating her previously-drawn routes on the page. My aesthetic efforts felt somewhat insufficient, making a surface reflection but little else. This limitation was inherently disappointing but allowed me to realize that I needed to significantly change my tactics which would allow me to follow a significantly divergent path. Following that idiosyncratic path might potentially release meaningful and substantial insights that wouldn't otherwise emerge from within the static page.

- Michael Palisano